Here’s the point in the book at which I realized that she
wrote this book especially for me:
“Natural consequence is actually a parenting technique, but
one I use on myself, because sometimes my ability to thoughtfully reflect on a
difficult situation is in line with a four-year-old’s.”
Seriously though, this girl gets it, and she’s hilarious as
well. Some of her advice is obvious, but necessary to state – respond to
RSVP’s, within 24 hours. Maybe isn’t a response. We all do it, we all hate it,
let’s just stop. Other advice is just good manners, which I think is falling
away, but maybe we should hold on to. I love her section about Thank You Cards.
I don’t send these as often as I’d like, but I think they are a thoughtful and
an easy way to recognize someone that went out of their way for you. My
grandmother sends me cards frequently – get well cards when I’m sick, Bon
Voyage Cards when I’m going on a big trip, Good Luck cards when I have big
tests and just because cards because she’s an incredible lady, whom I will
never be able to measure up to.
I could continue to reminisce on all the great qualities of
this book and how kick ass my grandma is, but instead you should just go get
this book and I will call my grandma and tell her how fantastic she is (Now that
I’m back from Maui, which, PS – is where I was last week. Hawaii post to come
soon!).
Below are my musings on the discussion questions from the
first 6 chapters, to get you super pumped to read the book. Questions are
paraphrased, my responses below, organized by chapter.
Introduction
1)
Better name for mascara sprinkles – Satan’s
Pepper or Failure Flakes?
a.
Failure Flakes – obviously. Failure to buy
decent mascara, failure to take off mascara with make-up remover, failure to
remember you’re wearing mascara before vigorously rubbing your eyes – just a
whole pile of possible fails.
2)
Something everyone notices but you, that even
when pointed out isn’t total clear
a.
That 401k’s are necessary? That being closer to
30 than 20 means I should have a solid savings account and a plan? That typing
“closer to 30 than 20” is terrifying and exciting in every possible way?
3)
Biggest Adult Failure to date
a.
Hmmm. I’ve made a series of questionable choices
(happens with astonishing frequency when thinking things through isn’t your
strongest trait) but none of them have been life altering. Every time I’ve made
the wrong choice, things have miraculously worked out, through lucky
circumstances, or incredible support from friends and family. So I guess although
I make choices that result in failure, I’ve made a choice about who to keep
around me and how to treat them, and that balances out all the poor choices.
Get your mind Right
1)
Worst shame boomerang?
a.
I generally think of all situations as successes
or lessons. I learn lots of lessons (see above) and I don’t go into a shame
boomerang, because they were lessons, not failures, not regrets. I love my
life, and I feel strongly that it’s a product of my decisions, big and small.
There are a couple nights that I could have a drink or two less, and a job that
I could have quit in a more graceful way though.
2)
Least Special Snowflake you know?
a.
Aw, that’s not nice! I try to treat everyone
like a special snowflake, because to me, they are. I also expect no one to
treat me like a special snowflake – then I’m leaving opportunity to be pleasantly
surprised!
3)
What would you name your pet Zebra?’
a.
Frank, except that’s Baby Brother’s nickname, so
he might not like that. Charles? Sir Edwin the 3rd? I’d really have
to meet the Zebra before I could know for sure.
Domesticity
1)
Something you overlooked when signing a lease?
a.
So many lessons! That a landlord who seems
overbearing and intense – probably is. That a land lord that seems not to give
shit – probably doesn’t. Finally – that if the person you’re about to sign a
lease with seems to be developing hatred for you, they will probably move out,
regardless of the lease, and leave you holding the pieces(SUCH a good lesson).
2)
Worst chore in the whole world?
a.
Cleaning the toilet – weirdly it’s the base/back
that I have the problem with, bowl cleaning is easy! Also – scrubbing grout in
the tub. Boo!
3)
Messiest House situation? Diorama!
a.
This blog doesn’t lend itself well to dioramas
but here’s a picture of the wine remnants from a girls night. I’ll let you
imagine what the rest of the house looked like. PS – totally worth it. Girl’s
nights are the best!
Cooking
1)
Why is cast iron so okay with being high
maintenance?
a.
Because it knows it’s worth and doesn’t settle.
2)
Does it weird you out that your hand is made of
meat, just like a steak?
a.
Yes. That statement makes me want to revert back
to vegetarianism. Then I remember – bacon.
3)
What could make a sandwich unacceptable?
a.
Sardines. Pickles. Olives. Any other thing that
has been pickled. A liquid that makes it soggy. Coagulated Cheese.
Fake it till you make
it (personal life motto. This girl gets me, for real.)
1)
Which is worse in polite circle? Poop or herpes?
a.
Herpes, obviously. To quote the famous book
“Everybody Poops”
2)
Name things crazy people do.
a.
Creating drama for the sake of drama, gossip,
tell everyone how over drama they are, post on Facebook about how over drama
they are, bring first/second/third dates to activities with their friend group.
Consistently. With new people on a monthly/weekly rotation
3)
Most spectacular clusterfuck conversation you’ve
ever witnessed in person?
a.
I try to find the humor in those conversations
but there is one regular conversation I find myself in that gets awkward,
mostly for the other person, but awkward for me because I feel bad for them. I
have a friend Rico Suave, whom I adore. He’s kind and loving and loyal and
seriously one of my favorite people in the whole world. He does have an
interesting outward persona, and can sometimes rub people the wrong way. I’ve
found myself in more than one conversation where a new acquaintance will be
voicing their distaste for Rico, and then ask who else I know at the party,
when I’ve actually arrived with Rico. I then find myself in the position of
explaining that you have to peel back the layers to fully appreciate Rico.
Get a Job
1)
If you were a networking carnivorous fish, which
would you be? What’s Donald Trump’s spirit animal?
a.
I would be a polar bear, and eat all the fish.
Or all the seals. That eat all the fish. I need to brush up on my polar bear
knowledge I think. Donald Trump would be a honey badger. Then he would jump in
the ocean and eat all the fish anyway. Honey Badger Donald Trump doesn’t care
he’s not a fish.
2)
Did you think the girl in the gag reflex story
was this author? It totally wasn’t.
a.
This is a reference to a super classy story and
an excellent reminder not to drink too much at work functions.
3)
Do you know any workplace heroes who have called
out co-workers on unflattering attributes? What can we learn?
a.
General life goal – do not talk poorly of
anyone, ever. Not at work, not your friends, not anyone. You never know who’s
going to be able to help you/who needs your kindness and compassion. You do
know who needs your snark – no one. Keep that funny shit in your head, and only
release it in a safe space with someone who knows you’re a good person and can
appreciate your particular form of humor (maybe a blog? Maybe a best friend?
Maybe someone who’s contractually obligated to love you until you die, or
someone auditioning for that position?). Also – be able to laugh at yourself as
much as you laugh at anyone else. For every person you think is a total ass,
there’s probably someone that caught you on a bad day and thinks the same of
you.
Sorry (not sorry?) that you didn’t get some of the
references there. Guess you better read the book!
Aloha!
