I AM a Tough Mudder

*Disclaimer: Super long post, sorry!*

Another item can be checked off the bucket list I didn’t know that I had. This weekend I completed the tough mudder. It was so hard. It was also so awesome. It was by far the most difficult thing I have ever accomplished. I knew it would be challenging when I signed up and especially when I started the work outs. I had anticipated the distance being difficult. I had anticipated the weather conditions possibly being difficult. I completely under estimated the mental part of this challenge. As with the most things, the only thing that was standing in my way was me.

I am so proud to say that I (with the immense help of my team) completed every single obstacle that was set before me on Saturday. I am not so proud to say, that there was a moment in the middle of the race, where I did not think I could do it. But I preserved, kept pressing, and finished. It helped that my amazing roommate was next to me telling me that I could keep going, and how amazing I was doing. I hate that I’m always my biggest obstacle. I was out there, I was doing this. I was able to do all the obstacles as well as any other girl on my team. I was lagging in the beginning while running, behind the rest of my team, but at the end I was at the front of the pack (my half marathon training has given me a steady pace, that can last me the whole 12 miles). It didn’t help that I have a nagging tendonitis issue from over training in the spring, which has never quite healed. It also didn’t help my pace that this was trail running, with hills, and bushes and logs to jump over, not the steady city running I’m accustomed to. Despite all of that I was doing fine physically, it was only mentally that I was weak. No one was disappointed with my performance or felt I didn’t belong except me. My weakness did not over power me though. I pushed it out of my head and pushed myself forward to earn that orange headband!

There were so many obstacles, it’s impossible to remember all of them. Below are a few of my favorites, and a little bit about why. I think all of my favorites could also be classified as least favorites (you really had to be there to understand).

Artic Enema

This was the second obstacle. It’s an ice bath. Not a “put ice in at the beginning of the day now it’s just cold bath”. They keep this obstacle between 30 and 34 degrees and we watched them add ice after every wave before we started. Not only do you have to make your way through literally ice cold water, that came up to my chest, but there’s a divider in the middle. I figured it was a two by four set at the top of the water, so you’re forced to dunk your head under. That was wrong. This divider went down 2-3 feet. I had to dive, feel the bottom and pull myself under it. There was no ducking under and staying on your feet. The other side of the divider was where most of the ice was, so while resurfacing you had to break through a layer of ice maybe 6 inches thick. It was by far the coldest water I have ever been in. I couldn’t get air into my lungs. The person in front of me was taking their time hauling themselves out of the water and if I could have moved fast enough I would have pushed them; without a second thought. Once I was out of the water the air felt warm, I felt energized! I would recommend ice baths for crazy people that need a burst of energy and hate being able to breath J

Berlin Walls

This obstacle was at much mental as physical for me. There were two sets of walls, the first 8ft and the second 9ft. These are muddy plywood walls that go straight up. The boys on our team ran at the walls and lifted themselves to the top, then two boys stayed at the bottom boosting people up and the other two boys at the top grabbed you and hauled you over. This was physically challenging, as you have to boost yourself up then sort of flop your torso over the wall then use your arms to push your body over and then drop and hang by your arms before dropping completely to the ground, to lessen the impact of the fall. It was also mentally challenging, in two ways for me. The first way is, 8 or 9 feet doesn’t sound that high. When you’re on top of flimsy plywood, it is. The other part of this that was hard for me was that I still struggle with my own body image. All the boys on our team were strong and positive and amazing. Pushing the ladies of the team over obstacle after obstacle did not faze them. But I still had flashes of being that “large” girl and felt guilty about taking their help, because I felt like I was asking too much of them. It’s one thing to boost a 5’0” size 0 over a wall. It’s another to boost me. The only problem with that is it isn’t really. I’m taller than those girls, so I can get a grip easier, and I’m stronger than those girls so I can help pull my own weight. In reality we’re the same. It’s only in my head that there is a problem. Which is exactly why I keep doing these events; to show myself how great I am and how far I’ve come. 

Walk the Plank

This obstacle was all mental. Actually that’s not true. Like all the obstacles, the masterminds behind tough mudder made this mental and physical. This was a 15 foot high platform you have to jump off of into water that’s an unknown depth. 2 things: You come up to the back of this platform, so you can’t see how far you’re going to have to jump until you’ll at the top and military guy is yelling at you to go. The second thing, they couldn’t make this nice stairs to the top. It was a plywood wall. So it was another obstacle that the amazing boys on our team boosted us up and then pulled from the top. I wasn’t even thinking about what was on the other side as I scrambled to the top. Once you’re up there and you look down it is intense. I got to the top took one look and was ready to scramble back down the wall I just climbed but before I could breathe there was a drill sergeant type in my face telling it’s my turn don’t look just go. He was scary and I jumped. The fall was far; far enough for me to have a cognitive thought of “why haven’t I hit the water yet”. The water was also freezing, the climb out steep enough to require a cargo net. It was amazing though, it’s such an exhilarating thing, to do something you never thought that you could. Even when it’s for the 12^th time that day.

Everest

This was by far the most challenging obstacle for me, mentally and physically. As you can see Everest is a giant quarter pipe, that’s covered in slippery mud. You had to run up as far as you could, jump and pray that your teammate not only catches you, but is strong enough to pull you up the rest of the way. You can try and get footing on the slippery surface, but it’s unlikely. This was the only obstacle that had a long wait. About 20 minutes. This meant that while you tried to run up this slippery pipe, at least a hundred people were watching you. These are the most supportive 100 people you’ve ever met. While we were waiting our turn we were cheering and clapping for every team that made their way up. They pipe is wide so there were probably a dozen lines of people trying make to make their way. When our team got to the front of our line, 3 of our strong boys ran and either got a helping hand from another team or were able to grab the lip and muscle their way up from a full hang (did I mention this is the second to last obstacle, so we’ve been enduring grueling feats for over 3 hours?). Then the ladies started going. We had 5 ladies on our team of 15 or so. 3 little tiny nothing ladies weighing less than 130 and 2 average sized ladies. The first 3 smaller girls went, and were able to run and grab on to a hand and get hauled up relatively easily (I can say this, since I didn’t do the hauling). Then it was me and one other girl, and the rest of the boys. I made two attempts and was able to grab a hand both times, but those hands weren’t able to haul me up and I wasn’t able to kick my legs up high enough to have anyone grab those. Both of those times everything slipped and I slid to the bottom of the ramp. It was so embarrassing. I felt defeated and every tall/large/fat insecurity I have ever had came up to the surface. But I had come here to do the tough mudder. I had done every obstacle so far, I was not stopping now. I took a break and watched a couple more of my team and other teams get hauled over this ledge. I decided now was not the time for quitting. It was the time for redoubling my efforts. So I took one more running leap. I got up high enough that the teammate grabbing me got my wrists and not my hands. I was able to get me feet perpendicular to the wall and get leverage to help them hoist me up. I made it to the top of the wall. It felt amazing. I get goosebumps now just thinking about it. It ranks up there with completing my half marathon. The final obstacle after this was a series of electrified wires that we had to run through. Those 10,000 volts did not faze me after everything else we had been through that day.

Overall the tough mudder was amazing. I’m bruised and cut and bloodied and sorer than I’ve ever been in my life. I’m also the strongest and most fit I’ve ever been in my life. There were so many more obstacles that I didn’t mention from thick mud up to my neck, to slippery tubes that slide down into more muddy water. I’m sure I’ll have another Tough Mudder post when I get the official photos, but for now I am so proud and so excited to start training for next year.

I will be stronger, mentally and physically and ready to tackle the world’s toughest obstacle course yet again.