Remember, Remember the 5th of November

Luckily no Gunpowder plots around, just a lot of good news. I told myself that if I only made it through October, then everything was going to be okay and man am I so glad that it’s finally November. This week has been one of highs and lows, but mostly highs.

Last night I had to go and retrieve all of my belongings from my car. It was terrible. I cried a lot more than a grown up should about something materialistic, like a car. I had to sign paperwork after I retrieved everything and I could barely see the paperwork through the tears. Not my finest hour. Especially given that I didn’t shed a single tear in the hours after the wreck. That was the time for excusable hysterics. Regardless, it’s done now and I should be getting a check soon.

I went home after that and I made fried tacos. Sounds weird I know, but essentially, you just fry the corn tortilla with the cooked meat in it, and you make hard shells from scratch. I’ve tried this before and ended up with oil soaked tortillas. This time they turned out golden and crispy, and closer to what my dad makes that I could have dared hope. I think the difference was the use of Crisco instead of oil, and the cast iron skillet that I recently acquired. Even Roomie 2.0 said they were delicious, and I made her promise to tell me if they were bad.

 

I had my delicious tacos while chatting with my wonderful new roommate, and she convinced me to make an online dating profile. It’s something that I’ve thrown around for a while but have kept shying away from. This weekend I realized that the last date that I went on was in March. Sad, sad day. There’s no time like the present though, so now, I am online dating. Hee Hee, I figure at worst I’ll get some hilarious stories, and at best, new friends and maybe more. So expect some updates on that front in the near future. I made the profile yesterday evening, and I’ve already had some messages and all sorts of page views. So yay?

As if good tacos and online dating weren’t enough fun for one week, today I found a car I love and made an embarrassment of an offer, and to my surprise, they accepted. It’s the exact car that was wrecked, same model, year, color, interior, all of it. It has 15k more miles than mine did, but still low enough to drive for quite a few years.

So long as no one purchased it between when I saw it this afternoon and when I go to sign the papers tonight, it will be mine, and hopefully this whole ordeal will soon be a distance memory.

As if all of that weren’t exciting enough, I went to Jamba juice today and their computer was down, so they gave me a drink for free. It’s the little things right? Maybe I should buy a lotto ticket, I’m on a roll!

Begin Again

Well that was a doozey.

 October has been rough. And not just a little bit, “oh my life is so busy and crazy” rough. Like my whole world got taken and shaken upside down and I spent the last 30 days dodging falling pieces and watching them shatter when they hit the ground. But I’m hoping that the worst of it is passed and I am still standing. Even if things start falling again, I will duck and dodge and at the end I will still be standing.

I lost my best friend this month. Not as in she died, but as in the person that’s been my closest confident for 6 years decided that she no longer wanted me in her life. As with the end of any relationship it was complicated and there were a lot of reasons for it. It sucked and it’s been awful, but I can see now that it was for the best. We were/are becoming different people. With different priorities, and we were holding each other back. I was always going to be the chubby side kick to her beautiful shining star. But I’m working hard to not have that chubby descriptor applied to me, and I have no interest in being a side kick and supporting someone else’s vision any more. So maybe I am the one that changed, and maybe it is my fault that we’re no longer friends. But I LOVE who I am and I’m so stoked about who I am becoming. If her best friend having confidence and becoming a happier person threatened her, then I guess that’s not really about me is it? I realized that I didn't like the people that she was surrounding herself with, and it was also a good lesson for me, in that we become like the people we're around, wether or not we realize it.

Regardless of the reasons or the necessity, losing her was hard. And she took away B. Without letting me say goodbye or bury my face in his fur one more time. And that is unforgiveable. Every time I felt like maybe I should bow to her demands and apologize when I did nothing wrong, for the thousandth time, I thought of how heartless it is to do that and I knew that I would never really forgive her, or ever trust her again. I miss him every single day. I know someday I will get a dog, and I will love that dog the way that I love Bentley, but right now it’s hard. I hope that she’s taking the time to give him the attention that I did, when I was home with him all the time and she was never around.

That all happened at the beginning of the month, and after a roller coaster of interviewing new roommates and possibly having to move out myself, I have a new roommate that moved in mid-october. She’s wonderful and I’m so excited that I found her and that she agreed to move in. it’s the beginning of something new and exciting and I do love an adventure.

Just when all of that got settled and I thought okay, now everything is going to be fine, last week, I got in a car accident. I’m fine and the other person is fine, but I’m injured enough that soccer (and all other exercise) is completely out of the picture, and my beautiful car that I spent so long looking for is a total loss. I’m losing my mind not being able to work out (sorry Doc, walking is NOT exercise) and being in near constant discomfort (do you realize how much work it is just to hold your head up? Cause I do.) isn’t helping my mood.

It’s okay though. Today is a new month. One of my favorites (after October, ironically) and my favorite holiday is coming up! Gobble Gobble Gobble! I’m healthy, I’m getting a new car, and I have a wonderful funny new roommate that I’m getting to know. And it could have been worse, it all could have happened over a week instead of a month, or I could have been seriously hurt in the accident. I could have not found a roommate, or found one that’s not as wonderful as the one that I have.

I’m excited for this month. I’m excited to continue getting to know all the new friends that I’ve made. I’m excited to begin studying for the GMAT and begin the next adventure. I’m also grateful that I have the ability to find the good in life, and pursue it without hesitation. So here’s to a renewed effort to write, and a happy, fun, and healthy fall!

Chelan, Cali, Seattle U

So to start, I promise the header is relevant. Promise. Just stick with me through this super long post!

 I’m not sure where the last year went. It was fall and I had just done tough mudder, then it was winter and it was the holidays and then it was spring, and I was training for another half marathon, then July came and went in a blink. Then August did the same thing. I can’t keep up.

The point of this blog was to keep up with my life. I haven’t been doing a good job of that. I haven’t been posting because when I’m happy and there are things I want to post about, I’m busy doing those things, and I think that I’ll get to it later. When I have time to make posts, I’m usually in a not so happy place, and it’s not a side of me that I like to share. It’s not something that I know how to share, and it’s not something that I’m proud of. So I am choosing not to dwell on that side. I only talk about it now, because I feel like somehow if I acknowledge it, then I can control it. Moving on.

July was a rush of preparing for my second sprint Triathlon, which was wonderful. I bettered my time from last year and had a wonderful couple of days with my family and my roommate enjoying the sun. I have no complaints about that fantastic week. I’m thinking that next year, it will be a Olympic Tri, and not a sprint! Here are some super fun pics!

The roomie's favorite baby ever!

Roomie and I headed to the lake in the Jeep!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Paddle Boarding!



We're goofballs

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I spent the beginning of august catching up on work from being out for 3 days, then getting ready for my trip to San Francisco the third week of August. The roommate and I took our time driving down highway 101, stopping along the way in spots along the Oregon coast, and then threading through the redwoods in Northern California.

We arrived in San Fran on Wednesday night, and had a yummy dinner with the roommate’s mom and her boyfriend. We stayed in an over the garage apartment that we found on airbnb, that was outside of San Fran, in Hercules. We had a slight emergency on the way out to our dwelling for the week. The brakes on the car failed, NBD. We were cruising along highway 80, going about 75, after sitting in traffic for an hour at 10pm on a Wednesday getting out of town (traffic, everywhere, all the time, I don’t know how people do it), when I went to brake and the pedal didn’t have any pressure. When I pushed it all the way down it would slow the car, but not really stop it the way you need on the freeway. I decided that this was not the time for panic, so I very calmly told the roommate, that we didn’t have any brakes but it was okay and I was going to get us to our place and then we could deal with it in the morning. At first she didn’t understand what I was saying, because apparently, my tone did not match my words. Understandably, roommate was not as calm. With some steel gripping of the steering wheel (mine) and minor hyper-ventilating (hers) we made it to our exit, and were able to get into a shell station and get the car stopped. In moments like this, I know with complete certainty that there is a god. If the brakes had failed while we were on curving 101, or while we were in heavy traffic, I shudder to think of the outcome. Luckily it happened at a place where I could move to the slow lane, put on the flashers and cruise at 50 miles an hour, always looking for the escape route in case a car cut us off. It wasn’t until we were stopped at the shell station that I realized how scared I had been, when I tried to pump gas and my hands were shaking too badly to get my card out of my wallet.

Luckily all was well, and we went to Les Schwab the next morning and the wonderful guys there flushed the brake fluid for free, as the suspected culprit was air in the hydraulic line due to either a seized caliper, or just heavy braking boiling the fluid in the line. There was no further car excitement for the remainder of the trip, thankfully! I think that night was enough car excitement for my whole year.

The place we stayed was beautiful, and the rest of the trip was so fun and so relaxing. A good friend of ours that’s currently living in Sacramento came out and stayed with us for a couple of days as well. We did some kayaking and lots of goofing around and sightseeing. Overall, a wonderful trip, here are some of my favorite pictures!

Goofing around on the Oregon Coast

Newport, OR

 

Baker's Beach in San Fran

Rawr!



Dancing in the street in Little Italy!



Three Amigos Reunited!

Since I’ve been back I’ve just been soaking up the rest of the summer here in Seattle, going on hikes and spending time outside, as well as getting ready for my second tough mudder, coming up in 4 short weeks!

I did make one other small decision during all the time I had to reflect while we were in California.

I’m going back to school.

It’s something that I’ve wanted to do since I graduated, and I’m glad that I spent that last 4 years working and figuring out what I enjoy. I now know that I really love numbers, and spreadsheets and finding the balance. Something I didn’t know about myself when I graduated at 22 with a marketing degree. The only thing that’s been holding me back is the cost, and I just don’t think that’s a reason not to get something that you want. I have the will, and I will find the way.

 I’m so excited to say that I will be pursing my Masters in Professional Accountancy at Seattle U, hopefully beginning in the spring. There is still a lot of bureaucratic things to be done, such as the GMAT, and you know, small things like applying and being accepted. I’m planning on taking a GMAT prep course in November, taking the GMAT early in January, and getting my application in to SU prior to the February 20^th deadline for spring term. I’m so excited about this development, and it feels like exactly the right thing to do. After I finish my MPAC (get used to that acronym, it’s going to be thrown around a lot) I’m planning to get my CPA. Then who knows what exactly I’ll do, but it will definitely involve spreadsheets and math, so I am excited!

 Here’s to exciting new endeavors and lots of blog posts to come!

Wow, what excellent follow through you have!

I guess that 3 things per day thing didn't work out. I have found 3 things I'm so thankful for every day, but no time to post about them. Over the last week, I’ve thought of about a dozen blog posts I wanted to write. One was just going to be hilarious pictures of dogs from the internet. (that one might still happen, Dog’s deserve more internet fanfare, everyone knows they are better than cats). Unfortunately, I’ve been crazy busy, at work and in life, but here goes and hopefully more to follow soon!

Last weekend I went to Chelan with a group of lovely ladies for a girl’s weekend. We camped in town and spent the days floating on a blow up lounger, drinking way too much and soaking up rays. It was super fun, gotta love girl time, relaxation, and some silliness thrown in (see glasses below).

 

 

Looking at the pictures got me thinking about something that’s been on my mind for a while, which is how relative size is. Being jealous of roommate is something that I have to constantly be mindful of. Comparing myself to someone else will never get me anywhere good. Best to be happy in my own skin, which I’m better at every day. The thing about that jealousy is that there are girls that she is jealous of, and those girls are jealous of other girls. There are girls that would love to look like me. In fact, 2 years ago, I would have been ecstatic to look how I do now.

 Take the time out of the equation and I’m still not satisfied. I hate the photo on the left. I’m embarrassed to post it on this blog that no one reads, let alone know that in that moment, that’s how I looked. Now look at the photo on the right. I love that picture. It makes me proud of how hard I’ve worked and how good I look now. Those photos were 2 hours apart. That’s the exact same outfit. So is the problem reality? Or is the problem perception? Maybe my left side just my better side ;)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 I noticed the same thing when I went to buy jeans a couple of months ago. The size range between brands was crazy. I was anywhere from busting the seams on a size 30 (10/12) to a svelte size 6. It depended on if it was a juniors or a women’s, which brand, and the fit of the style of that brand. (okay yes I bought the 6's, but based on fit, not number, I swear!) This disconnect continues across all sorts of media that we as women consume. That women’s magazine that tells you to love our body at any shape, also air brushes their size 0 models of any imperfection and gives you tips on banishing your love handles for good. Are you supposed to love those love handles? Or hate them and remove them from yourself?

When we’re not hating our bodies, we’re finding other ways to critique ourselves, mommy wars, lean in, have it all. How about, have a break? Take a minute, reflect on what you’re good at, worry less about what you’re bad at. I wish that I were better at those things, but I hope that being mindful of them is the first step to not repeating them to myself.

 
For now, I’m just going to keep finding the beautiful in life, and in myself, and keep doing the best that I can. I’m trying to be healthy and strong, so I can do fun things like tough mudder. I’m trying to be happy and positive, and patient, a person that I would want to be around. Mostly, I’m just always trying my best, which is always good enough.

 

Finding the upside, even when it's feverish

Okay! Top 3’s for Tuesday and Wednesday.

 4/23/13

Tuesday I was grateful to have a fantastic hilarious roommate that I can share so many laughs with. I love that we love and embrace each other’s crazy. Sometimes we even encourage it. I was also so excited that my soccer team had their first win, even though I was in bed asleep when it happened. Lastly, I’m happy to see my own growth. Tuesday I could feel a cold coming on, and by late afternoon, I was wishing for my bed. A few years ago I would have dosed myself with cold meds and went to my 9pm soccer game anyway. I would have refused to take any time off, and been sicker for longer. Instead, I was in bed by 8pm, and although Wednesday didn’t show it, I know it was the right decision. I’m about 50% back to normal, and I know that’s because I took the time my body needed, instead of pushing through.

 

4/24/13

Wednesday, I was even sicker then Tuesday. So I was glad to have a job where I can take time off when I need it. Where it is encouraged not to come in when you’re sick. Actually encouraged, not just something that’s said, but actually counted against you later. My boss has called in sick with a lot more frequency than I have. This was actually my first sick day, and it was painful to break that perfect record. I’m also happy to have an adorable pup to hang with me all day and a roommate that’s not afraid to go with me to get Jamba Juice since “those germs don’t work on me, I’m a nurse”.

I did not take any pictures yesterday, so here are some pictures that Bentley wanted you to see.

Hello Friends!

At some point I’ve stopped making this blog a priority; which makes me sad, because I really enjoy writing it. It’s partly because I’ve gotten so busy at work and partly because I become overwhelmed by all the things I want to say, so then I end up saying nothing.

 Life keeps flying by and it’s short and it’s fragile and I want something tangible that I can hold on to, that hopefully contains more thought and reflection than a facebook feed or twitter hashtags.

I’ve always made a point for this blog to be about looking at all the positives in life, and ignoring or changing the negatives. In the spirit of that and also of just getting back into the habit, I’m going to try and post top 3’s for every day, just something short and sweet about every day. Hopefully they will get me back into the habit, and I’ll start making time to write more as the mood strikes me.

 

4/21/13

On Sunday I appreciated a beautiful Sunset, got to meet my adorable new cousin, and also spent some quality time with the handsomest man I know.









4/22/13
Monday I was grateful for my health and the beautiful city that I live in. After everything that happened in Boston, I’m all the more grateful for the release and happiness that I am able to get by running. I have a renewed appreciation for the ability to put on some running shoes and take off for some solo miles. WIth a half marathon in 9 short weeks, there will be lots of miles to post about in the coming weeks!

Two years ago I was you, so please don’t give up

Yesterday I was running on the treadmill at my gym. I ran 3 miles, at a pace of 5mph (12 minute miles). Not a fast pace for a distance runner. Not even a pushing it pace for me. Just a nice steady pace that I knew I could hold for the whole 3 miles, and not be sore the next day. My gym is on the 13^th floor of a downtown high rise, and I look out the windows at the sound and watch the ferries and the cars while I run. Since it was dark out, I can also watch the rest of the gym (and my own form) in the window reflection.

Yesterday while I was running I noticed a girl on one of the ellipticals kept watching me. Whenever I looked in the reflection I noticed her watching me run. I knew the look on her face so well. I remember very well being the girl on the elliptical, struggling for 30 minutes, watching the girls on the treadmills, run that whole time and not seem to struggle. I remember being so jealous of them, and so determined to become them.

I wanted so badly to go and give that girl a high five. I wanted to tell her that just two years ago, I was her, and couldn’t run a minute on the treadmill at 4mph, let alone 5mph for 40 minutes. I wanted to tell her to stick with it, and to tell her how worth it, it would be. The thing that held me back is that I know 2 years ago I would have heard condescension, not support from those treadmill girls. So I smiled when she made eye contact and she smiled back and I hope she keeps it up.

I’m so excited that it’s spring and I’m getting back into running, especially outside running. It is so much better, in every way than treadmill running. Roommate has agreed to run a half marathon with me, and I’m SO excited. We’ve decided to do the Rock and Roll half on June 22. On Sunday we ran the St. Pat’s Day Dash, as a kick off to our training. It’s about 4 miles, and it’s definitely more of a fun run than a competition. There were 15k registrants, and the majority of people ran in costume.

Roommate texted me about the run on Friday, and I did a late registration for both of us and we got up early Sunday morning to do the race. This was the first time I realized that I’m a runner. I know, I’ve done Tough Mudder and a triathlon, and a half marathon, but I still usually think of myself as a fitness poser, and that I don’t really belong, I’m just faking it.

We registered on Friday. I spent Friday night out with friends until the very wee hours, then got up Saturday and cheered the Sounders on to a draw, then Sunday we ran the race. I didn’t spend any time training; I didn’t even slow down my beer consumption, or worry about my sleeping habits. I spent the weekend as I normally would have, then got up Sunday and ran 4 miles. I wasn’t sore, I didn’t need to walk, I wasn’t praying for the finish line. The next day I ran another 3 miles at the gym. It blows my mind; that I can do that now.

When I ran my first 5k, I trained for weeks, when I ran my first relay marathon (6.5miles) I trained for months. I don’t even want to get started on how long I trained for my first half. I honestly didn’t even give a lot of thought to the ease of Sunday, until I saw my former self staring at me in the gym last night.

It’s awesome to take a minute and see exactly how far I’ve come. It also renews my excitement about things to come! As I said roommate and I are running a half marathon on June 22, then on July 21 we’re once again doing the Chelanman Triathlon. Training for those events, in addition to playing soccer on Tuesday and Volleyball on Thursday should keep me busy, happy and super fit!

Happy Almost Spring Everyone!

Confessions

Okay, time to be honest. I fell off the wagon. I fell 10lbs off the wagon.

I knew that I had been lazy. I knew I had been making all sorts of excuses. I knew I’d been letting my emotions play too big of a part in my health and I knew at a minimum, I was plateaued.

This weekend I needed to go buy jeans, as my go to pair is wearing thin, and should be replaced before they rip and it’s a public wardrobe malfunction. The last time I went shopping I had been between an 8 and 10, much closer to the 8 side of that scale. This weekend it was a solid 12 that fit me, across the board. It was this huge slap in the face, exactly the wakeup call I needed.

I have worked very hard to be able buy in the single digits, and I’m not going to let that slip away because I got lazy and was pouting and eating pasta.

When I got back from shopping I did the thing that I had been avoiding, in order to keep lying to myself about maintaining. I got on the scale. I had gained 10lbs. It’s right there, clear as day. 10lbs is about a size, which explains why I had to keep trading out my size 10’s for size 12’s in the dressing room.

I had all these big aspirations of doing this Jillian Michaels 30 day burn, and really toning up, but that did not work. I’m not fit enough to do those work outs. Which sucks, but it’s not the end of the world. I have lost 50lbs. I only gained back 10.

So this week I got my life back in order. I’m letting go of the 30 shred for now. I can always come back to it later, but a work out you can’t complete that leaves you feeling discouraged helps no one. I’m going back to my first love which is running. It’s how I started losing weight to begin with, and I still have plenty of pounds to lose before I start really focusing on toning anyway. I’m hoping at the end of the summer, after I finish another tough mudder, I’ll be able to pick that book back up, and actually do the work outs.

I’m also cleaning out my diet. I’m switching back to an advocare mindset. Heavy protein, no refined sugars, no white carbs. I’m counting every calorie and tracking everything I eat. No more ignorance. No more excuses, no more “just this once”. Summer will be here soon, and I don’t want to start out the summer wishing I had worked harder in the winter. As hard it was to face facts, I’m so glad that I did. 10lbs isn’t that much. I can be back on track within a month.

This is the first time I’ve had backwards progress in this journey to be a better me. I’ve stalled out, gotten lazy, and plateaued. I’ve never gained significant weight back. I’ve always wondered how the people I see that made this same journey slipped backwards, and then had to do it all over again. Now I see exactly how it happens. It doesn’t happen all at once, and it’s so easy to lie to yourself.

I told myself that it wasn’t happening, because my clothes still fit. But Saturday roommate and I were getting ready to go out, and clothes that had fit the month before did not look the same. Yeah, my clothes fit, but not all of them. I had been choosing the things that would work, and if I’m being really honest, avoiding the things I knew would not work right now.

Even once you do notice, it’s so easy to fall into self pity, to tell yourself that you’ll start tomorrow, and just have this one last indulgence. After all, you gained 10lbs, what’s one more cookie? When I saw that number on the scale, the first thing I thought was how did I let this happen? How much further would I have let it go? What is wrong with me? I'm a failure.

I fell into a sort of hopeless shame spiral. Those are the sort of thoughts that lead to giving up, which leads you back to where you started. Back to where I do not want to be.

I’m so lucky that I have the most incredible roommate. I honestly do not know what I would do without her, so help me when we both get married and have to live with boys instead of each other. She called me out on Saturday. She pointed out that this was a minor setback and that I’d lost 5 times what I’d just gained. She did not allow negativity or self-wallowing. She also decided to eat healthy with me this week, to get me back on track, and made a gym date every day this week.

People that do not know roommate, do not know what a big deal this is. She has the most ridiculous metabolism, and is known to eat 2 boxes of mac and cheese, with kielbasas, in one sitting by herself (I did mention she’s a size 2 right?). She doesn’t need to diet, in fact dieting is pretty much against her religion. If I were her, I most certainly would not diet. Ever. At all.

But this week it’s chicken and green beans for dinner, and scrambled eggs with veggies for breakfast, and snacks of bananas and apples and greek yogurt. For me, it’s more than just this week, but for her to even do one week is really motivating me to keep it together.

I also wanted to come clean on here. I’m no longer lying to myself, nor to anyone that reads this blog. Let the record show I fell off the wagon. Let the record also show that I picked myself up, and went right back to kicking ass.

 

Don’t judge me, but....

Okay guys. I’m going to admit it. I love Valentine’s Day.

I do. I love it. Look forward to it every year. It’s the high point between some other days I love, Thanksgiving, and my Birthday. In fact, I think those may be my 3 favorite Holidays. Thanksgiving, Valentine’s Day, and my birthday. (yes, my birthday is a holiday, there is no point in arguing with me about it. It’s in 4 months and 5 days, it will be epic. As always. In fact, I think my second annual 25^th birthday is going to be even more epic than my first annual 25^th birthday)

I don’t only love Valentine’s Day when I’m in a relationship either. In fact, I think I like it more single. Then there’s no pressure, no stress, I just get to enjoy all the love around me J

For me, Valentine’s Day is not just a romantic holiday. It’s about celebrating ALL of the loves in your life. I think it’s nice to take a day, and celebrate love. What’s not to like about that? I can’t understand all the Valentine’s Day haters. If you’re single, and unhappy about it, then you should be doing something about it! Get a hobby, ask your friends, date online. There’s plenty of ways to meet people. There are also so many other loves to celebrate! Your friends, your siblings, your parents, your grandparents, your pets! Everyone has someone that they love. Celebrate it! And if you’re in a relationship, then what is your problem!?! You love that person, so celebrate it! It doesn’t have to be expensive; it just needs to be genuine.

My valentine this year is of the four legged variety. This morning I spent 10 minutes cuddling in bed with him and giving him extra belly scratches. It did not cost me anything, and was actually a really nice way to start off the day, instead of rushing straight into the getting ready routine. Valentines of the human variety would probably also appreciate a little bit of extra attention, but maybe leave out the belly scratches. That might be weird. ;)

It probably doesn’t hurt my love of Valentine’s Day that I’m a sucker for themes/Holidays of all varieties, pink is my favorite color, and I’m an absolutely hopeless romantic.

So today, have a piece of chocolate, tell the people that you love how much they mean to you, and wear pink. And if anyone gives you a hard time, then throw chocolate at them and ask why they hate love.

Uno, Dos......

So, Today is day 2 of the 30 day challenge. One work out in. It sort of hurts to breathe, which makes me really happy….I might have a problem. I absolutely love waking up and being sore. To me that soreness means progress. I’m getting stronger, and closer to my goals; which is a fantastic feeling.

As for the meals, well to be honest, those failed before they even started. I sat down on Friday afternoon and went over the recommended diet plan and started looking at the recipes and realized that this was probably not going to work for me. All of the recipes are based on 4-6 servings, and most of the food doesn’t seem like the sort of stuff that will keep well. Plus a lot of the food was crazy expensive, (Where does one even buy swordfish?). Add in to that the fact that I’m such a picky eater, and well, you can see why this did not work. That doesn’t mean that I’m totally giving up though. I am going to follow the breakfast plan, because it’s easy stuff, that’s really high in protein, which is exactly what I need in the mornings. The last 2 mornings I had Kashi Go Lean cereal and scrambled eggs. Honestly the cereal alone would have been enough. Other than that I’m just trying to keep my carbs low and my protein high, and stick with whole grain carbs and lean proteins. I’m also going to try and cut out refined sugars and flours, and eat multiple meals a day. So basically I’m doing a sustainable version of Advocare. I did use the formula for how many calories I need per day, and what the ratio (carbs/fats/proteins) should be, and am doing my best to keep that up as well.  I’m also going to stick with the no alcohol rule.

The first work out was awesome, but man was it hard. I’m not sure that I can keep up with these works outs, but be assured I’m going to do my best. When I say I couldn’t do them, I don’t mean I’m lazy and had muscle fatigue. That’s crap and when that happened I pushed through (that’s right burpies and static squats; I’m coming for you!). I’m talking about not having the actual physical strength to complete an exercise. The one that this was most apparent on for me was side plank with inner thigh raises. I barely have the core strength to hold a strong side plank. Add in an attempt at a leg raise, and I was falling to the side right and left. It was pretty embarrassing given I do my work outs in the main room of my gym. But I persevered and continued to embarrass myself anyway.

 

 

I just kept looking at my form in the mirror and thinking about the body that I want. I won’t get that body by giving up. The only way I’m going to be able to have the strength to do the exercises I can’t is by attempting them, and getting a little better every time.

At the end of last summer I couldn’t even do 2 non-modified push-ups. I started training for tough mudder and would watch roommate bust out a dozen push-ups plus in the one minute that I did maybe 5 modified push-ups. I decided that would not do. So I stopped modifying my push-ups. I worked first on just being able to lower my body in a controlled manner, then I would drop on my knees to raise myself back into starting position. Eventually I was able to lower up and down, and increase my reps and decrease my rest needed.

In the fitness assessment I did before I started this program I did 15 un-modified push-ups in one minute. So I know that I can train my body to do anything that I want. It won’t be easy, but I do believe it will be worth it. Tonight is another intense training session, then tomorrow a rest day (by rest I mean easy cardio in the pool, lol, it’s only 30 days, who needs rest!). Then Thursday, it’s a double whammy of an intense work out, then volleyball. Here’s hoping I don’t let my team down!

Cutting the pounds……and likely most of my social life

Okay just kidding about that second part! No Whining!

 

 On Monday I’m starting a 30 day challenge designed by Jillian Michaels. It’s both fitness and a diet plan, and I’m terrified! As someone that has accomplished a tough mudder and done Advocare twice, there is not a whole lot that scares me fitness wise. I’m up for pretty much any challenge.

 

This one is going to be a doozey though!

 

The diet plan isn’t as strict as Advocare, there are more carbs allowed, and only 4 meals per day, as opposed to 5. There’s still no alcohol, no sweets, no refined carbs or sugars. There are no special supplements, or any gross fiber drinks to be tolerated. My main concern is that this is 6 days longer than Advocare! That’s almost a whole extra week! I’m hoping that since it’s not as restrictive I’ll find it easier to see out through the end.

 

The hardest part of this for me is how much of my social life revolves around food and drinks. This will be a good chance for me to save some money, and to find things to do with my friends besides drink beer and eat fried things…..I might have to make some new friends….just kidding, love you guys!

 

The workouts don’t leave any muscle group untouched either. Below is the work out from the first day, which is repeated twice. On this plan you work out 4 days per week, always on back to back days, working the front and the back sides of your body on alternating days.

 

 

 This is day 1. That twice, plus some light cardio after completion. I should just enjoy my ability to move without pain now, because I have a suspicion that I will be losing it as soon as I start this plan.

I am really excited to get started though, especially after this one week set back due to a cold. I could be 25% of the way through by the time I’ll actually be starting! I’m definitely down to those last 15 or so pounds. I think it’s closer to 20, roommate and pretty much everyone else think it’s closer to 10, so I’ll go with 15. I’m hoping to lose those pounds and some serious inches.

I am taking before and after shots, and doing measurements, but the before and after shots are supposed to happen in spandex, so it is very unlikely they will end up here. I did realize it’s been about 6 months since the last full body I shot I posted so below is me when I started, in July of 2012 and then in December of 2012.

 

Work in Progress!

Disclaimer: No guarantee your hair will turn a sexy ginger color with weight loss. Not everyone can be as lucky as me!

 

Fee Fi Fo Fum…..The art of Complaining

I’ve talked before about how I feel strongly that life is what you make of it. You see what you look for and get back what you put out there. Unfortunately, I usually find myself making these statements after a rambling rant to a friend full of complaints.

I think that we(mostly us ladies) often justify complaining as “talking it out”. But are we really talking it out? Are we objectively looking at a problem and discussing the solutions? Or are we just rehashing the problem, and whining? “I should have…”, “Why didn’t he…….”, “Is it so hard to …….”. Rarely is this “talking it out” taking place with the person who could change it. Does hashing it out with girlfriends solve a problem? Or does it just allow us to dwell and justify it as constructive?

I’ve taken control of my life over the past year, I’ve shaped my body into something I can be proud of, put my career on a track with potential, and really made a point to be introspective in general, in order to be the best possible version of myself. So I’m making it my goal for next 30 days, not to complain at all. Not on here, not while out with girlfriends, not at all. I’m hoping that in those 30 days I will get out of that habit, and therefore, when the 30 days is up, I will continue to not complain. To assist myself in this goal I asked the people I find myself complaining to the most to call me out when they hear it.

This 30 day task coincidences nicely with my next fitness challenge!

Jillian Michaels has an amazing book called Making the Cut and it has a 30 day plan to drop the last 15-20lbs and get really toned. It includes a full diet and exercise plan, and I’m so pumped to get started on it. I had planned on starting today, but over the weekend I came down with a lovely head cold, so I’m putting off starting until I’m back in fighting shape.

This work out plan is not for the faint of heart, but I think it’s just the thing I need to get off my plateau and on to the next level. Before even starting the book you have to pass a fitness assessment, to make sure you’re physically up to completing the book. I was able to pass, just barely. The just means I’ll have to be extra positive and motivated to complete these work outs and stick to the plan!

I’ll update later this week with more about the work outs and the details of the diet plan. Since I’m sure this plan will keep me busy, and sore, there will be a lot I could complain about. Instead I’m going to be thankful that I’m finally in shape enough to even tackle this book, and excited for the results I’ll be seeing at the end!

Party like it's 2013!

2013 is here, and I have made no progress on my new year’s resolutions. I’ve had no time for new TV shows or angry birds. The dog doesn’t have any new outfits. I’ve actually moved backwards on resolution #2 and purposefully made new friends. Typical, make all these lofty resolutions and push them aside in less than a week.

I have been keeping busy and doing some really fun stuff. Baby Brother came up after Christmas and I hopefully kept him happy and entertained while he visited. We went ice skating, checked out some local record stores, took him up to the slopes for the first time and spent a night out on the town in Seattle.

He is now officially a snowboard addict and did so great on his first day up.

 

Roommate and I also rang in the New Year in style, and had a ton of fun meeting new people in the last hours of 2012 and the first of 2013.

 

I’ve spent a lot of time this week cooking, I’ve made chicken tortilla soup, chili, and apple cinnamon cupcakes with cinnamon cream cheese frosting. In the next week I’m planning on making beef enchiladas and chicken noodle soup, as well as a lemon blueberry baked oatmeal.

 

I’ve never made baked oatmeal before, but I came across the recipe and it looked too delicious not to try. I had never really made soup before, but after this week I think I’ll be making a lot more. It’s so simple and cheap and easily adaptable to whatever you have on hand and so delicious.

 

For the chicken tortilla soup, I used a Pioneer Woman recipe that my cousin made on Christmas Eve. Here’s a link to Ree’s recipe on her amazing blog that everyone should read.

http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2011/01/chicken-tortilla-soup/

 This soup is so easy. You basically just bake and then shred some chicken breasts then simmer the chicken and veggies in chicken stock for 45 minutes, adding in various spices, tomato paste, and black beans as you go along.

 I thought the absolute best part of this soup was the toppings. Here is mine with cheese, avocado, sour cream, salsa and corn tortillas.

 

The only change I made to this recipe was to bake the corn tortillas instead of frying them; equally delicious, less fattening. Roommate would tell you to eat the soup with Fritos. At first I didn’t get it then, I thought about it, corn tortillas, corn chips, not that far of a stretch.

This weekend we went out dancing with some super amazing people on Saturday then went and watched the Seahawks game with Twinsie, and her roommate on Sunday. Twinsie, is a really good friend of ours that is pretty much the same person as I am. She’s blonde, also loves giraffes, also understands how scary/evil birds are. She gets me J

 

This next week I’m really excited for my volleyball team’s end of the season tournament, and to go cheer the Seahawks on to another victory next weekend with Roommate, Twinsie and twinsies roommate, and whoever else ends up joining.

 

Go Hawks!