Shenanigans and the evil green monster

Lately I’m really struggling at staying positive. I’m plateaued with my weight loss, I feel lost in terms of my goals for life and the direction that I’m headed, and I’m insanely jealous of just about every person I encounter. It is not a healthy place to be.

Luckily, I’m surrounded with amazing, understanding people. Also, those people do really great stuff and invite me along. This weekend roommate and I went camping with a bunch of my cousins and their spouses and friends. We went to Moses Lake, Wa, for relaxing, dirt biking, and jet skiing.

Roommate and I left Friday afternoon around 3 and took I-90 straight to Moses Lake. We arrived before everyone else, so we headed into town to hit up some happy hour before camping commenced. The food was so amazing. I think food is my favorite thing about small towns. We had mozzarella sticks that were huge; freshly battered as well, of course. I wish I had taken a picture of these ridiculous cheese sticks. They warranted a picture. Also, there was fresh grated cheese, on top of the cheese sticks. It was the most ridiculous thing ever. The restaurant we ate out was right on the lake and the view was amazing.

 

After drinks and food we met up with everyone else to head out on the dunes and set up camp. We all got settled in to camp and then set around a warm fire in the middle of a beautiful sandy dune. I’m so blessed that not only do I have cousins close by, that I enjoy being around, but those cousins have married some of the best people that I know. We all set around the fire Friday night, drinking, laughing and enjoying the fire and each other’s company.

Saturday morning we got up and made breakfast (that same family also has some really amazing cooks. So spoiled!); then headed down to the lake for the afternoon. We stayed at the lake all day, playing on jet skis, floating on the water and watching the dogs chase each other around. Roommate even had a coordinated outfit with the youngest member of our little camp. She would like everyone to know that Teegan is the most stylish baby she has ever met.

 

Saturday night we made dinner and sat around the campfire again, then got up Sunday morning and packed for home. I think what made this weekend so much fun was the really amazing people I got to spend it with. I watch my cousins with the people that they have found to marry and I know that it’s worth all the heartache and the pain to eventually find someone that you love that much. To see the little families that they have made makes me so excited for my own future. It also reminds me not to compromise. Everything that I want is out there; I just need to be ready for it. And really that’s the point of all the hard work I’ve been putting in. I need to make myself into the best possible version of me, so that when I meet a really incredible guy, that’s everything that I want, I’ll be everything that he wants too.  Watching how happy all those couple are, I know that something that special is worth waiting for.

Sometimes it’s hard, because I want everything on my own timeline, or more specifically on the timeline that others have gotten it. In the past year I’ve been single and haven’t met a single boy that I really wanted to be with, that met all my criteria, and that wanted me too. Now I’m watching my roommate start dating this guy that’s everything she wants, after being single for weeks, not months. And it’s so hard. Hard to be happy for her and not jealous. Hard not to wonder what’s wrong with me. The hardest part of it all is not stamping my feet and shouting about how unfair it all is.

 

I usually feel like people that are jealous are just unhappy with their own life. I’m not sure if that’s the case though. I think that jealousy is natural. It’s human, just like wanting to have more than you have and being better than you were. It’s only natural to see people with things you want and to want them to. I think how you react to that jealous feeling is what reflects most on your own happiness.

So I’m doing my best to smile and listen when she talks about him. And to encourage her to bring him out with the two of us, since I need to make sure he’s good enough for her. She’s the most incredible person I know, and he better recognize that fact. I am geninuly happy for her and want her to be happy. It's not her fault that she found someone great so quickly. And the times that I know I can’t smile and be happy for her, I leave the room, or change the subject. And that’s okay too.

My prince charming is out there. I’ll never meet him if I’m pouting out how I haven’t met him yet. So tonight hot tub boating on Lake Union, not pouting at home about the one thing in life I’m currently lacking. Who knows, maybe someone incredible will be there.

Sitting in a hot tub, on a beautiful lake, looking at one of the most beautiful cities I’ve ever seen, with wonderful friends and new, soon to be friends.

What did I have to complain about again?